social convention

is it sexist, or just the way things are?

I can't quite tell
but am surprised
by little comments, harmless, everyday
Now that everyone begins to pair two and two;

it doesn't sit right, when she greets me:
"You look beautiful,
now you just have to catch yourself a young man"

I know things were different - are different, for others
but this is MY life
you don't know me
don't assume
I'm incomplete.

"You're going to grad school - what about your fellow?"
As though I'd take off without saying anything to him -
as if we'd never work it out;
Or as though
they know something about partnership: the true sacrifice it takes
(but only from the woman)?

Would you ask a man you didn't know well
"What about your girlfriend?"
Or would you just guess
that they'd both go together -
or break up- or whatever people tend to do,
and not say anything at all?

so why ask me "Do you have a boyfriend?"
before offering me a job
as though you'd save me from being the career woman
and kindly refrain from opportunity
if I said Yes.

You underestimate my freedom.

Is this the way things are? Or ought to be
when they assume
you'll pay my bar tab
because we're sitting
next to each other

is it a bit hypocritical,
to love it when men pay for me ?
flowers are so lovely --
but why do you give me a strange look
when I hold out my crumpled bills,
earned no differently from his