You've been running through my dreams...

i dream about library ghosts
forgotten luggage
and rejection letters

unprepared
self discipline isn't something
I've cultivated

No one calls.
Can they tell -
everything makes me exhausted.
Am I a pariah?

interview me;
I'll tell you I'm reliable
But I'm beginning to doubt my reliability
except for sleep.

Me time

Accomplishment: full day
I walk along streets
lined with the hum of air conditioners
bated breath and highway hustle

a taught blue sky
and humid leaves scurry
in the wake of my purposeful steps
i feel so self-sufficient

I run, I fetch and carry
the rudiments of my imperfect life:
all that's necessary,
at my fingertips

5 p.m. comes hot and slow,
still the light stretches across the yard
where sun-sick children whine and drag their feet for home
and I still have ambition
to tackle chores and creativity.

So - I spend the day -
An independent soul - almost forgetting
my existence is defined
by being alone

Evening falls as though to say, what's the matter baby
as if an answer is merely a word
that dies, like memory, unnoticed -
and solace only ebbs like the sea

I wish I could say
the future's not more of the same
in my bell jar

no dial tone

can't connect.
like clockwork
I feel as though my world will never entice me back again.