As I drive home I tell myself
through hot eyes, i must believe:
someone, someday will love me
and i won't have to be in this world alone
Until then i'll just be me.

Indecision

Some days it seems
They’re all waiting for me to make a decision.
Speak—or be silent.
Are you in or are you out?
I’m afraid the answer will never come.
I love indecision.
If I make a choice, I might have to stick with it.
Stick with (some) one.
That’s commitment
And I don’t do that [word]
Because Mom & Dad
Fight in June, and July, and September
With footsteps heavy on the stairs
And slamming doors like claps of thunder
I’ve never seen them kiss.
They danced once,
At my best friend’s wedding
And I cried because
I’ve never seen them look so happy.

I’m still waiting to find out
If indecision is better
Than commitment.

I want you to want me

I could roam around this skin
for weeks
and never find anyone there.
I want someone to crawl in
and let their eyes say
"I understand."

Inside my crushed eyelids
I want to see--
a response of rumpled caresses
I don't want the cold of winter
to reach my spine, hips, and knees
I want someone there
pressed against my back.
It could be you, (I thought
foolishly, sometimes.)
I wish i could feel
more strongly than this.

I want to whisper in your ear
something
that smacks of the soul
but i cannot.
i don't know you, at all.
I beg: Listen, listen
I need to be known.

You breathe only &
My whispered wish
fell on silent ears.