Good Day

i had a good day
today.
the sun shone and I was alive:
I breathed, and wrote, and walked and spoke
I left my hermit home.

but it's pathetic
how dependent my life is on you.
YOU YOU YOU. You wily hook. You desperate sparkle
in the watery iris of the world.

Pathology, mythology of the mind:
Here I am - feeling nauseous
strung up like a gutted fish
and flapping on my pole.

So betrayed at the thought
you went to sleep without me.
you don't need me
to be your friend - anymore -

Do you ever think of me
so strongly
It could cut like a Subtle Knife through my loneliness?
I think not.

so I'll go to sleep, floundering
disgusted
a good day
should end like this.

Soon I'll have another friend
my shiny bait, my blessed goal--
Soon I'll forget
the times I felt so tired of good days.