truth and lies

Truth and Lies

I am disguised
Beneath my sunglasses
(those mirrored orbits—ovals, optics—they call eyes)
Truths rise like purple bruises
Under my lids, a lack of sleep
A lack of lies, you can trust me.

The lies exist in silence.
Here I am, surrounded
Everyone moving, milling, steeping, climbing
Here I am in stillness (crying)
Across the concrete—
Here lies the only one who feels.

I wish for a breath of fresh air in this
Collision,
This
Softly
Darkening
Solace.

Solace that covers me,
Entertains, twists and tricks me,
Keeps me appeased
With laughter, pleased
To guess and say
That life is worth the living



Lies I Tell Myself

A silent morning and
I wake (briefly)
Taking the time to move my limbs
Slowly to the window.

Snow is fresh on the tired ground,
Reinstating the winter.
I never said I loved you
(It would have been a lie).

I wish I said it anyway.
I close the curtains, and retreat back up the stairs
Sheets and the downy February light
My companions for the morning

The silence doesn’t matter,
My ears are too full to sleep
(I say, dreamily)
Spring is somewhere hiding

And with snowdrops and crocuses
A different world unravels,
Like a dusty chrysalis.
Before you, truth was absolute.

Out of the darkness of the tented sheets
I hear a crow’s cry
Like a distant siren—bringing me out
Like a moth I hide in stillness.

There are no lies in this bed
There are no truths to stir me
Soft up to my shoulders
I don’t need to move—(Truth)

I’m glad of the things you don’t do
What you don’t remember.
The way you say, “Hey Girl”
I’m glad Nothing has changed.


More Lies

It’s ok—
I don’t remember, where my dad was born
Or went to college
Or the names of my Mother’s sisters
Or how many cousins I have—
It doesn’t matter.

It’s all right,
I can’t remember
What period I had French class
Or how to conjugate “voir.”
It’s fine that I don’t know
How the planets orbit
And I’ve never seen SNL.

I’m still bright
And promising
Even if I’ve never cheered –for a first down
And never watched
Saturday morning cartoons
I’m still fine, red white and blue, without knowing
The fourteen points

You still want me
Even if I forget, all the injustice
Or your last name
And what town you call home
It’s all right
By tomorrow
None of this will matter.