anti-fun discoveries

well, over the past few weekends i've discovered that the highschool impression of myself is correct. not that it ever bothered me that much. but these weekends I've spent friday and saturday nights in my room, eating chips and salsa. it's my scholarly nature's fault; last semester I kept turning friends' offers of entertainment away because i wanted to study. Now they know what i'm like (always going to disappoint when they want to party). but it's not true-- I just want them to conform to my schedule. i can be crazy. if i sit dumb and unmoving in the corner during your party that's because i'm not ready; I don't want to step on anyone's toes. I'm sick of people saying, "Oh, you've really come out of your shell. You're a lot of fun when you're drunk." I'm a lot of fun all the time, damn it! It doesn't matter that most of the time when i'm having fun it's because I am reading a book or studying for class. tut tut.